My Random Thoughts

A little bit over two years ago and after a lot of prayers and seeking advice from people I respect I decided to get baptized.   I did this on my own accord.   I was not seeking to please any one with what I was doing.  I decided I needed to do this out love for my Lord.  After being baptized, I felt alive.  I wanted to make difference and I believed that my Lord was preparing me for my next adventure in life. 

Soon after being baptized at church I was asked to be a small group leader.  I very hesitant at first, but after talking it over with the associate pastor I agreed to undertake this endeavor.  As our small group was coming to the normal summer break at church, the associate pastor and I talked about the possibility of having Shaun Groves come to our church and putting on a show.  In fact, he said that it was a good ideal and we just needed of figure when to have Shaun over for a show.  

A few weeks after that conversation, things began to unravel and my disappointment with my church began to happen.  The associate pastor resigned to take on another ministry.  This meant that I had lost a friend a mentor and the one ally I had trying to get Shaun to come to the church I attend.  Shortly afterwards I was told that the Worship director felt that Shaun does not fit in our church’s goal of making more and better followers of Christ.  Thus, the church would no longer pursue having a show done by Shaun.  I was devastated with that news. 

When fall came around, it was time to start up the small groups.  Just one problem though.  The person who became responsible for the small groups forgot that the small group I was involved in met at the church during the children’s weekly ministry event. The group was formed so the parents of children could be at the church when their kids were there and yet be able to attend a small group.   Let’s just say that the small group I was involved in was kick out of the church because the person in charge gave our meeting space away.  So after many conversations with various people in the leadership position at church, we came to the realization that there was no way we were going to get back in our meeting room.   The small group decided to disband.  The main purpose of the formation of the small group had been defeated. Again I was devastated. 

Since that time, I have wondered if I am at the right church.  I sit here wondering where I belong in the big scheme of things.  I was a person ready to head off to do battle for God.   I have lost that fire.   In fact, I feel defeated.  How I long to have that fire again.

Thomas

I know that this is a simple song, but for some reason it has struck a cord with me.  

Thomas 

Well, I did it again. I opened my big mouth and stuck my very big foot into it. A friend, whom I respect, showed me that I was wrong in what I had wrote. After thinking about what my friend said, I decided to take a post down.

Thomas